((((((((((Kacey))))))))))

Oh Sweetie...

...I don't know where to start...my heart goes out to you right now! I know that pain so well. I am so so sorry that you followed DBT protocol (twice) by calling for support before SI and your needs went unmet. That is so disappointing. (((HUGS))) ...maybe try a crisis line if that happens again.

You are worth so much more than you believe and you don't need to do anymore harm or damage to yourself. Have you tried the "Butterfly Project" at all?? It is where you draw a butterfly on the spot of your body that you want to SI and in order for the butterfly to survive, it has to fade away. If you SI, then the butterfly...bites the dust. It is a great idea. Try it or if not try squeezing ice cubes. It hurts like hell but it causes no permanent damage. I think you probably scared your T.

As for letting my T down, yes I have done that a few times by ODing and also SIing after talking to her on the phone, She said that it made her feel like she wasn't able to do her job properly as she wasn't able to help me. But at the same time I also neglected to tell her actually how desperate I was at the time because I didn't want yet another hospitalization. Now I am much more honest with her.

I hope things turn around for you and improve soon Kacey. Keep talking to your T. Don't lose faith. You are worth it and so much more! Believe in yourself Hon, you WILL get through this.

Sending you positive vibes!....