Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow8
I felt bad about an email I sent to my T after my session, so I called and asked her to please call me and tell me that she is not giving up on me or rejecting me because of my behavior. We talked for about a minute; I was in the grocery store and she was between clients. In almost 2 years I've called her about 3 times only.
She said I know how to push her buttons. I know the phrase but I didn't know I do that. Is that like when my former T said I was manipulating her? I don't think she meant about FB and our relationship, or maybe she did? What exactly does pushing someone's buttons mean? I get her angry?
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It is possible that she meant the catch-22 that you placed her in. You asked her to call and tell you that she is not giving up on you and not rejecting you because of your behavior.
That gives her no choice but to call you, or you will take a non-response as a confirmation of your fears: a rejection.
It makes her action or inaction responsible for your feelings.
Regardless of whether she wants that or not.
Regardless of whether she is ABLE to call back in a timely manner or not.
I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm coming off too strongly here - I don't really feel strongly about this issue with your T! But my point is that this kind of manipulation doesn't really give the other person much choice. It's kind of "do what I want and be a good guy who makes me feel okay, or don't, and be the bad guy who is repsonsible for making my whole week hell."
When people are manipulated in such a way they can feel used, disrespected, disempowered and resentful. When it happens to me it pushes my buttons, too.