Quote:
Originally Posted by mcl6136
This is exactly how I felt during my "analysis" with my old T...as if I was being put into a mold for my thinking and as long as I accepted the thinking behind this (in my case analysis), or PRETENDED to accept it, I was doing well. give me a break! It felt cold and I feared being alone during this "analysis," when I wanted support and active listening, not a formula! I think there are real limits to these schools of thoughts and support you for questioning them and not just swallowing it whole. I think that's the opposite of "splitting" and you're not seeing things in black and white at all. I'm thinking of you, Wysteria, and support you in this journey!  |
Hey Mcl6136,
Yeah, I'm really nervous about being put in this mold or having everyone label me and then react to the label and not me or even worse living up to the label! I went to a group a few weeks ago and it was like neo-nazi training for the mentally unstable. SCARY!! Yes, I'm afraid of being unnaturally forced to be something I'm not, but then again, my way hasn't been working...so I guess I need to be open to a different approach and a different way of thinking. It's all nerve-wracking right now. Having my T at my back gives me some courage though.
I've often relied on his hope when I had none of my own. On his vision of me when I feel worthless. He sees something worth saving...and I trust him more than I trust my own viewpoint a lot of the time.
I know the voices of Depression and ED and Perfectionism and Twisted Thinking and the Past sing loudly in my head. Sometimes their songs can be oddly alluring and will as surely pull me overboard to drown as the song of the mermaids in the old legends. That may sound a bit strange, but I know T's viewpoint and faith are a lot more secure and true than mine right now.
I really appreciate your note and thinking of me. I will be careful and also have to be available to what good may be behind this door that is opening. Like all the challenges in my life it seems to be about balance. We'll see, won't we?
Wysteria Blue
