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Wysteria · Sep 29, 2011, 04:19 PM

Hi Sitting at Waters Edge...

You know, I've always believed as many have also said they felt, that there was something inherently flawed, deeply black or dirty, or different about me that did not allow me to thrive and flourish and be worthy and loveable like others. I have mistreated myself and doubted and talked down to myself for years. Look at where it has left me...Depressed, broken and scarred.

In the end, I would never treat a dog the way I treat myself nor would I allow anyone else to treat a friend the way I treat myself. That is what finally brought me to the realization that I had to accept myself. I'm learning how to do that. Sometimes I rely much more on my T's vision of me or his hope for me than I do my own...But I want to accept me and that is what I'm working towards. That I'm inherently acceptable and worthy of my time and efforts and being loved. You are too. We all are...

We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.
- e.e. Cummings

I want very much to be full of wonder and to go out into my world and find peace and joy and serenity and love. You're worth it. Why aren't I? Turn it around and you'll see that it can work for you too. You are exactly who you need to be right now to be who you will be tomorrow... I hope you can accept that. That's where I started and it seems to be helping. T is the one holding up the mirror to help reveal that I am worthy of self-acceptance...so are you. You deserve it. You earned it.

I don't know if this helps at all...I hope it might. I've attached a little something that helps me..maybe it will give you a little strength too..

Hugs,
Wysteria Blue