Quote:
Originally Posted by Wysteria
Hi Sitting at Waters Edge...
You know, I've always believed as many have also said they felt, that there was something inherently flawed, deeply black or dirty, or different about me that did not allow me to thrive and flourish and be worthy and loveable like others. I have mistreated myself and doubted and talked down to myself for years. Look at where it has left me...Depressed, broken and scarred.
In the end, I would never treat a dog the way I treat myself nor would I allow anyone else to treat a friend the way I treat myself. That is what finally brought me to the realization that I had to accept myself. I'm learning how to do that. Sometimes I rely much more on my T's vision of me or his hope for me than I do my own...But I want to accept me and that is what I'm working towards. That I'm inherently acceptable and worthy of my time and efforts and being loved. You are too. We all are...
We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.
- e.e. Cummings
I want very much to be full of wonder and to go out into my world and find peace and joy and serenity and love. You're worth it. Why aren't I? Turn it around and you'll see that it can work for you too. You are exactly who you need to be right now to be who you will be tomorrow... I hope you can accept that. That's where I started and it seems to be helping. T is the one holding up the mirror to help reveal that I am worthy of self-acceptance...so are you. You deserve it. You earned it.
I don't know if this helps at all...I hope it might. I've attached a little something that helps me..maybe it will give you a little strength too..
Hugs,
Wysteria Blue 
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I think this is so TRUE! I began my first T years ago with a nagging sense that I did not feel worthy. I think on some level I believed that others could SEE my brokeness, flaws, awful history -- that I was somehow "marked" or even cursed...I was so far from self-acceptance...T was exactly what WB says here...the mirror that could reflect me as I was, not as my self-loathing made me appear. My self loathing was a kind of otical illusion that caused me to see myself as UNACCEPTABLE. T helped me to see with more perspective, clarity, honesty and love. I still struggle a lot with self acceptance, even this far into the process. The only thing is, I know people who have never attempted any kind of T or any kind of self inquiry, and compared to those I know who have, they seem kind of BLIND.
I think this self acceptance thread has been important and illuminating...