Abby,

I think that realizing that you can't leave yourself behind is a good step forward. No, you can't escape from yourself, so that's one approach that isn't going to be useful. Knowing that, where can you go from there?

What do you feel that the weight you are dragging around with you might be? How could you let go of that weight, and just be you without that excess baggage?

You are a really neat person. I'd enjoy being around you. There may not be something big and magical that is suddenly going to make everything wonderful. Building self-esteem and learning to enjoy life is a more gradual process than that. You'll get there. Any time you need someone to talk to, you know where to find us.