Lately this has become unbearable. I've always had anxiety issues and panic attacks, but this has been ridiculous. EVERY DAY. Large portions of time. I have been conscientious of using my PRN alprozolam very sparingly and only with the worst. But spending various hours light-headed, feeling like I can't breathe, heart pounding and not able to function is not good either. Even with taking some (I try to always just stick w/ .5), and consciously trying to breathe deeper and more slowly, I still often find myself curled up in a ball, tormented. I know they can't hurt me per se (so yeah, working it from that angle as well), but honest to God! This is really starting to get in my way.

As if the depression wasn't kicking my *** enough by itself...

Left msg today with my psych for an appt. I don't even know why I'm writing this. Know it is illogical, but I can't help thinking that I really am a hopeless case, and was really afraid to call. Visit before last, just the severity of the depression stuff had her really worried. I hate to add to that intractable mess...

Sorry, all. I'm really sick of me too. Alas that screaming, "Stop! Stop! Just make it STOP!" isn't working...