But what you were saying about feeling like T "doesn't want to go there"...wow, I have SO had that feeling. A few summers ago, we had a summer-long-rupture over that feeling. I believed with all of my heart that T didn't really want me to talk about it...it felt SO real. And in the end, I think I realized that *I* didn't want to talk about it. He was there, and open, and ready. *I* wasn't.

T and I talk about talking about things a lot before we really get into them. So I wonder if you could share how you're feeling with T..tell him that you're afraid he doesn't really want to hear it, or that it will be too much, or that it will feel awkward, or whatever the fears around it are. For me, that is probably the best way to start moving forward when I find myself up against a wall.