i went for an interview last week, told me to call in a few days and set up a training schedual as soon as possible. Yeah, i did wait about three days-four days to call back. So i just called and told me whens good for me, i told them tomorrow will be fine to start training. They said alright, come in at 4pm. I said OK.

I seriously CANNOT handle a job, i really cant. Knowing me, im not going to follow through or i'm going to freak out because i cant work with people all that well, and at the moment im having several panic attacks which is bothering the crapp out of me !!! ughhhhh...i was hysterical crying before, cursing, yelling at my mom and brother, and i seriously want to cut now and i havent since September 2005. :[ i'm terrified, and on the other hand i am lazy. lol. Seriously though, i'm prob. going to have a HUGE panic attack and i might not show up tomorrow and just freak and sulk. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i really hate my life right now.

i dont do that great with anxiety, so yes--im scared.

deb