Quote:
Originally Posted by Readytostop
So I talked about it....I told him something that was very traumatic.... I looked at him and his facial expression was blank.... he said nothing....then after a long pause he asked how old I thought I was then...I responded... and then he started telling me a "funny" story which didn't relate to anything I said....so I took that to mean we were done with that traumatic topic. It was so totally awkward....
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Wow.
That IS awkward.
My T is very still and quiet when I share trauma stuff. I think he is giving me space to reach into myself and to tell the story. But it feels like he is still "with" me, if I am able to be in the room enough to notice. So, when you said T was quiet with a blank facial expression, that's what I was picturing.
Responding to your story of trauma with a "funny" story sounds incredibly inappropriate and insensitive. Is your therapist trained to work with trauma? Mine is, and I wonder how much of a difference that makes? (I've never had another T).
If that happened with me and my T, and I wanted to continue working with him (which I do), I would definitely tell him how his repies made me feel. I used to feel scared that I would sound like I was criticizing him, but we are two people in a relationship, and it is FINE to let each other know how we are feeling, and how the other person is affecting us. I would just tell him "T, it felt bad when I told you my scary story and you told a funny story afterwards. I felt like you didn't hear me, and that made me feel sad", or something along those lines.
Have you been with this T a long time, and do you want to continue to work with him as you move into the harder stuff?
to you. I'm sorry you told something so hard and didn't get the response you needed.