I think you should totally leave the old married flame alone since he's married and has a baby. The other one who you're not sure of - how about you just be friends for now and be honest with him, then let him choose. If he chooses to move on, there's nothing wrong with being alone for a while - you don't have to feel, you must be with someone to feel complete as a person. You have no guarantee the married guy would work out and not being able to have him, makes those feelings even stronger and that's how affairs happen.