One last bit of info here. SAWE you said that my concern was off topic, I beg to differ. You say that you cannot accept yourself because of "negative" things that you do (I can't remember the exact word that you used). When someone brings a concern to another person, one would hope that a person would think of the other person first. "How did what I do or say affect you?" I think that you go into defense mode and go on attack to protect your self worth. We are not bad people because we can do bad things. I think that you thinking that you are bad because you go on attack keeps you from taking responsibility for your attack.

I brought a concern to you and you brushed it aside. This is not taking responsibility for your actions.

This is so relevent to the discussion here. You are wondering how to accept yourself and here we have an example where you refuse to look at what you have done. You have to look before you can accept. You have to accept before you can move forward.

I come here to help people and you look at me like I'm an enemy...........