My bloopers tend to come from Occupational Health, the workplace health assessment stuff.
I'd virtually only just walked in the door and this nurse says "What's your diagnosis, Bipolar?" I told her it was chronic major depression and PTSD symptoms, and she put down on the form that it was clinical depression [fair enough, it is] and a behaviour problem.. Bleh. I know my trauma stuff can make my behaviour squiffy, but if she'd put 'difficulties with behaviour due to having suffered abuse' it would have felt more human.

The last Occ. Health dr I saw said "You've been referred to us because your manager was freaked out because you said you were suicidal." Ouch.