kacey,i know how bad things can feel especially after you have SI.please be patient with yourself you are not bad at all.and i hope you will be able to see this .i dont think you let your T down i think the coaching line let you down and i hope T is going to address this . it seems like you are going through a very dificult time right now and my heart so goes out to you because i know these feelings so well.you dealt the best you could and i hope your T is able to help you pick yourself back up and move foward.i know it is so hard at these times to do it alone.im here if you want to share more of what is going on ok