Hi there,
I started posting to this site again the other day. I just had an episode that required hospitalization, but I'm getting better- not manic any longer. I wanted somewhere to get more support, which is probably why you are posting. However, I looked up your old posts and read some of them, because of how you refuse to get advice regarding seeing a Dr, a counselor, or getting on, or taking meds- as you put it.

I will not try to sway you or give unwanted advice in this post...I try not to beat my head against a brick wall if I can help it. Anyways, I know that my counselor told me that I had my "episode", not because the meds weren't working, but because of being "out of balance" and stress. However, since those things happened "I" need my meds adjusted. Basically, I had a breakthrough episode, like someone with a seizure disorder.

I have a stressful job as a nurse and we were short staffed all summer, plus I was training 3 nurses, working longggg hours... it was too much and bam I became manic and could NOT control it on my own. Counselor said I MUST stay in balance - work/family/eating/sleep/etc or I WILL have another episode-meds can't and don't do it ALL. She said when out of balance your body adjusts, adjusts and adjusts, then finally can't adjust any longer and illness ensues. Being a nurse this made sense to me and I have been "out of balance" for at least 3 months no wonder I broke....

So my advice...stay balanced and reduce stress, whatever it is you personally find stressful.