I think the damn pdoc said that especially to you to put some fire under you. And he succeeded. I was dx'd bipolar for a few years then schizo affective, then parnoid schizophrenic, and now schizo affective again. When i was experiencing mania I definately was not happy. I was creating a world that did not exist b/c i didn't have one. In other words too much time to think and create in my head. I wasn't motivated to use my creativity with my hands.

Then I became depressed and the mania went away. I think it's when I started using seroquel that stopped my mania, and became the depressive type. Not happy of course either.

Now I'm not so much depressed anymore, as much as having a problem with anxiety. I'm attending school b/c I am stable now (since 2009) and thought to myself, I'm not going to go thru mania again. So in order to stop the vicious cycles, I'm doing something positive in my life. Instead of dreaming up things that aren't so.

I hope you find a new pdoc, or ask the one you have "does having mania mean being happy?" and if this is his perception of happiness, he doesn't have a clue.

Hugs,

Hoping