Thanks everybody. I would like to respond personally to everyone and contribute to other peoples posts but right now I have to apologize I just don't have it in me. The good news is that I can get my stitches out next wednesday and that is going to feel really good! The other good news is that t and I finally worked through the chain analysis and we have a detailed plan for crisis times in the future.

Cats I really liked your butterfly suggestion and it is part of my safety plan. My t liked as well and said that he was going to use that in the future. I gave you the credit.

The bad news is that I had set a limit with a previous group member (previous post) that I won't delve into again but what has happened is that the gal I had talked to broke her confidentiality that she had promised me and turned other people in the group against me. Last week when we were leaving group I walked out the front door a few minutes after everyone else. When I went outside the conversation completely stopped. So I asked if they were talking about me and one of my friends said yes they were. Well the gloves came off.......... The girl and I got into a shouting match and everyone else jumped in and eventually group t had to come out to the parking lot a break it up. What a nightmare. I have to work next time so I won't be there and to tell the truth I am 99.999% sure I won't return.

The last update is that yes we have started to tape my sessions for training purposes and that has been weird. They haven't been viewed yet and after all this plus a couple bad t sessions in a row I called my t and told him that I changed my mind and and do not want those tapes viewed by the consultation team and the DBT experts. I guess I am a therapist's worst nightmare right now. Ah well you can't be a shining star all the time.

Thanks again for the support and I will try to answer post individually as soon as I have a clear mind to do so.