Something for you to think about.... I read that some in evolutionary psychology believe that depression is possibly a natural mechanism of the healthy mind. In depression our thoughts become dark, overly emotional and yet focused. Focused on what? Our problems. Address the problems of that focus and the depression subsides. Approx. 50% of the population experiences depression throughout life, so they theorize it has to have a healthy function.

When this function is faulty, we have lifelong struggles with depression/anxiety which may not be life problem based.

It seems you enjoy the resultant introspection.