I was going thru something like this with my T. I would say, well I cleaned the kitchen this weekend. And he would answer, Doesn't that feel good? And I would practically jump out of my seat screaming, NO! it doesn't! It makes me afraid! it doesn't feel good! how many times do I have to tell you that? WELL after 4 years of that, it IS starting to feel good, but it took a long time to get here. And I think his hair turned whiter in the meantime from my yelling.