I took a leap of faith and followed my new doc's directions to see a therapist at his agency.

I saw one, then had to switch to see a female therapist.

She was an hour late today, came at 3pm when my appt was at 2pm. I was willing to forgive the lateness, but it was harder for me to forgive how she handled it. She called one time to say, I will be there at 2:20. Well, at ten till three, she still had not come. Then I called her to ask how much longer and she did not answer her phone, which rang and rang and rang. When she did finally show up at ten till three, she told me later, "I did not want to answer the phone." I wish she had answered becauase I did not know if she was lost, in an accident, or just plain dragging her heels.

Then I tried to tell her about my issues around my aunt abusing me and I was triggered when she said, "your aunt loved you." I am processing the idea that she did not love me---do not want to kid myself into believing that she did. My aunt did not act loving. Then, she told me I was defensive about my "abandonment issues" when I told her I was upset about her being later than she said she would be and then not being at her phone.

In all, I felt invalidated as though I needed to over explain myself, as though I were a bad kid again trying to defend my goodness.

I feel that when this happens, it's not a match.

Billi