Maybe y'all can help me here. I am trying to get some perspective on my old therapist. I'll call her RachelAnn.
I used to just adore her. Thought she could do no wrong. I saw her for several years. I think she did DBT, although she never called it as such.
Just for the record, I have DID (mult.personalities) and at the time also had severe anorexia. After several years of working together and I thought it was going well, she dumped me out of nowhere (no warning) one night-which caused a lot of further trauma.

Anyway-- I used to think she hung the moon (my 1st mistake)

But are these things she should have done? Or could have done differently? Was I wrong for continuing to think so highly of her when she was acting like this?

--she always let me/us call her once or twice a week if needed. Then one night we called and she decided we weren't allowed to anymore. This came out of nowhere. It was fairly traumatic to have that thrown at us over the phone like that, especially when we were calling in a crisis as it is

--one night having a flashback (of SA) in a session, she decided to ignore it and went over to her desk to do work on her computer. One of the little ones was crying "Help me!! Help me!!" and she said "I'm not talking to you until you calm down."

-- one night one teenage alter was suicidal. T called my husband. They both talked and it was agreed they better keep an eye on me/us. T knew that husband was going to be gone a few days. Being suicidal, we were then left alone for a 3 day weekend. T never called to check on us. Husband was out of town. Didn't see or talked to T until a session 7 days later. Logical to leave a suicial person alone and not check on them?

--Was losing weight one fall because of a VERY intense, VERY stressful teaching job. Was eating well and not purging. She INSISTED I was lying and MUST be starving/throwing up because of the weight loss, and refused to believe the truth, that the weight loss was just because of stress

--was always threatening me with, "If you don't ______ (name anything she wanted me to do--attend a meeting, do some weird homework, eat more, etc) "I won't see you anymore." Since she knew the relationship meant a lot to me, she knew it was an easy way to get me to do anything she wanted me to do.

And yet I still have a hard time thinking she ever did anything wrong. I dont know. My new T (who is wonderful) says that my old T was unethical in a lot of ways and ought to be reported, at the very least for the way she ended treatment with me (no warning,and how it caused further traumatization). I still have a hard time thinking anything negative about her.

Am I just still deluded because I miss her?