I need to quit this behavior. I started picking when I was quite young, and it really escalated when I started with acne as a teenager. My face was an obvious target, but over the years I progressed to different parts of my body - my chest and shoulders being worst affected. It's like obsessive grooming, but it's stupid because it ruins and scars my skin. It's a really addictive thing to do, though, and I find myself in a trance sometimes before I manage to stop myself and think 'what have I done?'

My worst problem at the moment is that since I started epilating and shaving the hair off my arms and legs, I sometimes get ingrown hairs, or the hair is below the surface, and I have the bad habit of squeezing the pores or digging around with needles or tweezers. I make problems where there were none. Sometimes I wind up looking like I have a really bad rash.

My skin is awful, pretty much everywhere except my hands and feet. I don't tend to pick my face much anymore, and I use a lot of makeup to help cover up the damage (including filling in my eyebrows that I messed up with years of obsessively plucking.)

I'm jealous that most people can be so carefree about wearing short sleeved tops, shorts and skirts, low cut or backless dresses, and go about without makeup -- all without having to worry about how their skin looks. Even if I stopped picking today, my skin will never be good again. My forearms were about the only part of my body I was comfortable showing - but although the picking hasn't ruined them, recent SI has. Every part of my body is now ruined with blemishes, scars, or stretch marks. I hate that I have to hide and cover up like I do.

I won't go on holiday anywhere hot because I can't wear anything summery, let alone a swimming costume or bikini. I don't have relationships because I can't stand for anyone to see my body or what I do to it. I live with this shame every day and can't tell anyone. I can't believe I even posted it here.