I'm over this. I am tired of living this way. I hate how I feel, and how I am. No one cares. They can't because I don't. I have been going for too long. I should have died at birth. I almost did. I should have killed myself long ago. Things happen, people go away. I want to go away. I am done with all this. I won't kill myself. I'm too chicken. But i can continue to cut away the pain. The blood..it feels good. Right now I can barely type. I am so numb. I am so done.

[b] I used to be so big and strong I used to know my right from wrong I used to never be afraid, I used to be somebody, I used to have something inside now it's just this hole that's open wide, I'll cross my heart I'll hope to die, but the needle's already in my eye, what I used to think was me is just a fading memory....--NIN [b]