I think what each client needs is different. The therapist should be able to adapt his/her style somewhat so he/she isn't giving the client things they don't want or need.

Of the things you named, positive moments and connection are helpful to me. However, positive affirmations are not something I respond well to (perhaps I don't need them?), so we don't do those. I have not gained any transitional objects from my therapy, although once my T let me borrow a book. (I gave it back at our next session.)

Another poster mentioned getting soothing from the therapist. I do not need soothing from my therapist so he does not offer that. Maybe he would soothe a different type of client? I don't know.

Some therapists teach skills. My T has helped me improve communication skills.

My T has also helped me with skills related to feelings. He has helped me learn to recognize when I am feeling something, what that feeling is, why I am feeling that, and to express feelings too. (I was really distant from all my feelings when I began therapy.) This was not something I came to therapy for or knew I needed to work on, but it has been a huge gain from therapy for me.

I really needed someone who would go deep with me. My therapist was able and willing. (Not all therapists do depth work.)

There are also things I have wanted from my T that he would not provide. For example, during sad times when I was grieving, I wanted him to teach me techniques to help me maintain an emotionless facade, so I wouldn't suddenly start crying in the middle of a meeting at work, for example. He would not teach me this. He said it was better that I not hold the feelings in and he just smiled at my request. He said I was too worried about what other people would think about my being sad and I should just allow myself to feel and express it.

It is helpful that you know what you want to do in therapy. Great! What are those things? That is your starting point. Do you want to tell us so we can tell you if we think those things are something a therapist can help with? If you don't want to share what you want from therapy, that's OK too. Good luck to you.