Okay, I'll bite on this one. I don't know how long this will wind up being though....

I'm 41 now, but in my 20's and 30's I suffered from depression. However, My mother is Bipolar I and I remember telling my Pdoc "just don't tell me I have Bipolar". He would ask me sometimes if I realized I was talking fast and jumping from subject to subject and I said "No, not really. But if I am that's just my personality". So, he never told me I was Bipolar. I was already on Tegretol for seizures (which is also used as a mood stabilizer), so he just prescribed antidepressants. Eventually, I stopped seeing him and had my medical MD prescribe the antidepressants. Actually I didn't see him or any Pdoc for about 5 years.

In 2009, I became extremely depressed and suicidal, then overdosed before work one day. I was found 7 hours later in a coma, then taken to the hospital and put on a ventilator in ICU. I stayed in a coma for 5 days. Then, developed aspiration pneumonia and pleural effusion. So, had to recover from that, then go to psych unit for a week.

So, while at the psych unit the social worker set up an appt. with me to see my old Pdoc, since he new me. I went to the appt. with him when I got out of the hospital. Told him what happened and how prior to depression setting in this time I felt like I had everything under control, tons of energy, then I just lost it..... Of course I had much more to say, but won't type it all here.

So, anyways, I said what the heck is wrong with me? and that's when he said you are Bipolar...I was shocked! Then, when I went to see a therapist at the same office I asked her to look at my Dx from when I use to see Pdoc yrs ago, so she looked in my chart and again it said Bipolar, but he had never told me. I think because of my fear of being like my Bipolar mom, however she refuses to believe she is bipolar even though she was in mental hospitals 3 times in her twenties and they always DX her with Bipolar and put her on Lithium. But she would go off the meds shortly after coming home and use alcohol to self medicate which in turn made her psychotic. After she left my dad no one could get her to go to the hospital during her episodes....

So, since 2009 I have seen my Pdoc regularly but had stopped seeing the therapist (big mistake). I've had several hypomanic episodes since, but was always able to stabilize mood within a reasonable amount of time with meds. However, In Aug. of this year I became hypomanic, then irritable, disorganized, forgetful mania and could not gain back control even though Pdoc increased meds a bit. So I admitted myself to a mental hospital for treatment. My dx has now changed from Bipolar II to Bipolar I.

Pdoc says I can not work right now and he doesn't know when I'll be ready to go back. So, my life is on hold right now, but I know he's right. Not only am I having med changes about every 2 weeks, but I can't handle stress.

Thanks for reading!