The lateness is a separate issue, and I am definitely not saying that what your T said is highly professional or even appropriate behavior.

My point is that any T, just like any person, can say some stupid s*^& from time to time. When I stop to consider some of the idiotic crap that sometimes pops out of my mouth, occasionally in a professional context, I want to cringe. I don't think that the test of a good T is whether they never say any stupid thing that makes you feel invalidated or triggered or unhappy or whatever. They all say stupid stuff from time to time.

The question is, can you go back to her and tell her how you felt about what she said. You should be able to, you said it here. How does she respond? Does she say more of the same, does she deny what she said, or does she hear you and perhaps you move to a new place as a result?

You can't expect any T to always know the right thing to say. Maybe she never says the right thing, it's hard for me to tell from your post. Dr. Phil, although I am so not a fan, says "we teach people how to treat us." The point in relationships is to communicate, and in T that's pretty much what it's all about. We share ourselves, they respond to us. Sometimes their response is not what we want. We have to tell them this. Sometimes their response is sorry, I messed up. Sometimes their response is something different. But it's their response to being told that they have messed up from our perspective that determines the value of T. IME, anyway.

Anne