suffered for many years with deep depression, bipolar without revealing my struggle. reached a pitch in adulthood. hopeless and helpless. mentally spent. became an alcoholic self medicating at about 38 yrs old. knew there was something very wrong with me.
sought help. got sober. had therapy regularly.
was dx'ed bipolar 1. meds were not compatible or had no affect.

i requested time at a psych hospital. T and pdoc agreed. immersed in a safe, limited stimulating environment.
had lots of group therapy, psychodrama. was observed by psych techs and nurses to ascertain my behavior on new meds.
daily therapy, 1 on 1 with my psychologist. once a week session with pdoc.
when released was in intense outpatient 5 days a week/6 months/my choice.
had desire to obtain a healthier life. willing to do what it took to get better.

end result
21 yrs stable on meds. continue therapy to deal with life triggers.
have many tools now to minimize mood swings. awareness of triggers.
call T if things seem to be going south
most importantly have a contented life and try to help others to give back by suggesting avenues to get better. offer hope.