my therapist offered me a suggestion re my dysfunctional family. he asked me, how do you stay healthy in an unhealthy relationship. i was baffled. he said, keeping a healthy distance. meaning to cut back on my getting involved with my family. not put fires out for them. set healthy boundaries with them. it doesn't have to be in miles. the important thing is to just not be as "available". he also told me in an uncomfortable dialogue/situation it was ok for me to leave to get out of the "arena".
setting healthy boundaries and assertiveness includes-
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The first step is to inform the one doing the bullying that you are not comfortable with it and it has to stop. Describe the specific kinds of behaviors or comments that are hurtful or inappropriate. (i use the "I feel.." words to do this.)
It is enough to state that you are setting some healthy boundaries for yourself and will no longer allow yourself to be bullied, criticized or judged. Very soon everyone, including the one bullying, will understand those boundaries, and likely will respect them.
If, after all this, your boundaries are not respected, then yes, it is absolutely okay not to put yourself in an unhealthy situation. If a person needs to keep at you, you are not going to be safe around them. As a child you may have had to put up with mistreatment, but as an adult, you do not. http://psychologyforliving.blogspot....th-family.html
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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