have you and AJ considered going to nar-anon or al-anon?
this is just my opinion but AJ deserves a right to know. in addiction, being sneaky and not forthright goes with the territory. i don't know what you found but it sounds like the "pink elephant in the living room."

Ask yourself the following questions and answer them as honestly as you can.
1. Do you find yourself making excuses, lying or covering up for the addict in your life?
2. Do you have reason not to trust the addict in your life?
3. Is it becoming difficult for you to believe his/her explanations?
4. Are the unaswered questions causing hostility and undermining your relationship or marriage?
5. Are your suspicions turning you into a detective and are you afraid of what you might find out?
6. Is concern for your spouse, child or friend causing you headaches, a knotty stomach and extreme anxiety?
7. Is your spouse, child or friend easily iritated by minute matters? Does your whole life seem a nightmare?
8. Are you unable to discuss the situation with friends or relatives because of the embarrassment?
9. Do you over compensate and try not to make waves?
10.Do you keep trying to make things better and nothing helps?
11.Is the lifestyle of this person changing? Do you ever think they may be using drugs?
If you have answered YES to four or more of these questions, Nar-Anon may be able to give you the answers you are looking for.

this is a complicated situation but hope these suggestions may help.