Dr. Muffin: Thank you. I think some of my problem is that I spent most of my life NOT expressing my feelings. They were bottled up inside of me. Gradually, in therapy, I learned to let them out and now I go too far in the other direction! I have to find a middle ground.

sunrise: What you wrote sounds good, and I thank you for your suggestion but it's very difficult to simply STOP behaviors. If it were, we'd have no addicts of any kind. I'm going to try, though. I lost a lot of weight a couple of years ago, but I gained most of it back. At least I know that I CAN stop a bad behavior even if I couldn't keep the weight off. I want to be able to stop googling my T and looking up her family online, but even as I write this, the urge is there. I'm not going to do it, but the compulsion is not going to go away that easily. What about SI? I've never done that, but for those who do, it's not easy to stop.

dizgirl: I'm thinking about what you said. I know I have to try sitting with my feelings and not emailing her right away after my session. She's told me that too. That's going to be harder than not looking at FB. I have this compulsion for her to know what I'm feeling right away. Possibly we could allow more time at the end of the session for that although the feelings usually hit me later.

I thought I was accepting what my T gave me, at least I did during my first year of therapy, then something happened. I'm not sure what.

Anne:Thanks for your input. I don't try to push myself on people; in fact, I'm pretty much the opposite. I'm not assertive though that may be changing. I do try to form deep relationships with others and get frustrated when most people don't want that. Fortunately I have a friend now who has good boundaries but who will be there for me when I need her. It's reciprocal, too. I want too much from others and I'm disappointed, so that happens in RL too.