Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow8
sunrise: What you wrote sounds good, and I thank you for your suggestion  but it's very difficult to simply STOP behaviors. If it were, we'd have no addicts of any kind. I'm going to try, though. I lost a lot of weight a couple of years ago, but I gained most of it back. At least I know that I CAN stop a bad behavior even if I couldn't keep the weight off. I want to be able to stop googling my T and looking up her family online, but even as I write this, the urge is there. I'm not going to do it, but the compulsion is not going to go away that easily. What about SI? I've never done that, but for those who do, it's not easy to stop. |
Rainbow, I did say that it wouldn't be easy, so yes, I understand one cannot do this overnight--I have been there myself so I'm not just talking off the top of my head. But I believe in you and your strength, and I think with effort you
can stop these behaviors. I don't mean you can simply stop overnight, voila! It may be a gradual process. Maybe try at first what dizgirl suggested--don't call or email your T immediately when you want to, wait at least 24 hours to start. Then gradually lengthen the time. Same with the googling her or other unwanted behaviors. Even if an impulse arises during session, take a deep breath and count to 10, even share with your T what's going on, "I'm struggling right now not to demand ______" or whatever it is you would like to prevent. Then maybe your T can offer some support or assistance. At the very least she will know you are trying. I agree and reiterate, all this is not easy, but
you can do this, rainbow.
(You mentioned SI--I agree that is something else that can be hard to stop.)