I have never been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, however, I know I experience moments when my thinking and feeling fluctuates between two states. I'm often a black or white thinker who can't accept balance. I don't enjoy feeling high, but I experience it in some moments and then I think I can achieve great things. I am not extraordinary in any way of being nor do I possess great talents , at least that's how I think about myself, but I often feel as if I can do great things. I daydream about having talent to do something radical and great, and I know I am deeply disillusioned, however, I have such reoccurring thinking. Sometimes I think I will become poor and dependent on others to take care of me because I am mentally ill or don't have enough intelligence to make it on my own. It doesn't make sense how I believe I will either be great or incapable of making it on my own. Realistically, I think I can make it on my own if I toughen up and incorporate a lot of endurance into my way of being. I do have intelligence, it's just that I misuse it to dream unrealistically and waste my time. I am very moody and do not understand nor can deal with stress very well. I am unstable. I am trying to be practical and in control of my emotions? How can I reach my full potential and live a healthy life? I would like to stop with the grandiose and extreme way of thinking.