I understand, if there are no answers, this morning was so different, not just anxiety,
but weird kind of flashbacks and I just wanted to get through my day. Its scary and extremely embarrassing, and I dont know who to talk to. I can't seem to explain it to my husband, its hard to understand myself. I think too many triggers set me off this week, just hearing my lawyers voice really triggers me and it takes me time to get over it, how am I going to sit in a room with him I am supposed to call him and meet with him this week, and I don't know how that will effect me. I don't like how this effects me and I can't seem to push it away and be me, who I am, I find this very frustrating. I am so afraid I will flashback around him, I can't seem to control that and I don't want him to look at me like Im not going to be a good witness or something. And this is just not me at all, I am always so strong met up with other creepy people and stood my ground. I just don't see why I can't stop this effect I get now. And yet I am defending everything that was important to me that was just taken in the night so carelessly. I keep trying to tell myself this is the last stretch in the road but my brain doesn't want to go there with me and fights me on it somehow. I just don't get this at all. And then I get really angry about it and I seem to lash out for no reason and yet there is a reason, I have every right to be angry, this whole thing should never have happened, could have been easily avoided.

Open Eyes