I don't know how it is to have a healthy and loving relationship with my parents. I am 29 years old and I still yearn to know how it is to have unconditional love by my parents.

On Sept 14th I had went through brain surgery in hoping that it will reduce or stop the seizures. Everyone went well and there are no complications after the surgery. I am healing very well.

I wish I could feel comfortable to see my parents but there are too many hurtful feelings and I don't want to get hurt again by them. In my family I grew up in a place where physical abuse was present and a father that is still an alcoholic. The family stayed together but still the tension is always there. I had moved by home so that I can prepare for my surgery. I needed to save money for the traveling cost of the surgery and I also needed to be in a situation where others can care for me after the surgery. I was living with my family for only 1-2 months until my father in another drunken rage kicked me out. I spoke to my mom and never once did she stood up for me and just went along with things. In a time in my life where I made the scariest choice to go through the brain surgery my parents were never by my side and actually made things worst for me.

Now I'm on my own with the help from siblings and friends I'm recovering just fine and I'm healthy. I still think about my parents and they want to visit but they know they dont have the right to take part in this time of my life. After going through this serious surgery I want to live my life differently and I dont want to carry the burden of the pain of my broken family anymore.

To move on from the pain of my family does that mean I have to let my parents back into my life. Can I move on from the pain of my family and not let them take part in my life?