I think you should check into an emergency room, call your pdoc (if you see one) just get professional help A.S.A.P.
Things can get better, you need to get professional help and work at it with whom you are assigned too, it may be a long process, but it is worth it.
Just do not give up on yourself, don't give up on life, take care.
((((((((((((((( dreamer62604 ))))))))))))))))))

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON