Rainbow,

I know you are having a hard time with all this. You have indicated that this is a pattern of behaviour for you, and stepping out of these patterns is an incredibly hard thing to do - but certainly not impossible.

This whole email and facebook thing. It's a symptom of something else. I think you know, in a wise mind way, what that something else is, regardless of what therapists have told you it is.

Personally, I think when we begin to listen our wise minds and pay attention to ourselves, then we need less from others.

How do you do this? I don't know for you, but stillness was a huge part of it for me.

That's not to say that I don't feel like crap on certain days and that wise mind gets stifled, but amid all that you have to open yourself to it. I guess you open yourself up to yourself.