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Originally Posted by carla37
so abused. with no compassion. why should i even seek compassion from him if i no my partner cant give it to me. its simple just a partner who shows they care. I need a place to speakout. Im holding so much in and the repression is starting to make me nuts.. dulled out, and life less. i went a week feeling canitonic and fought it. he has all the power, yesterday I got called a ***** twice, and well this abuse is real and painfull . i watched him beat the crap out of the dog, told him when i woke up in the mornimg i was in pain yet he still grabed me and through me around like a rag doll. i have no friends, my family gone, lost my job because of him, im in his cycle and im numb...
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I cant really relate to the abuse but I feel I can help a bit with finding compassion. My ex had no compassion or feelings. It wasn't her fault she has a lot of issues. I would take something that your interested in and focus on that. Example I play music. so as much as I can I get out and play open mic nights when im not with my band. It took a couple months but now I am a regular at this one open mic and have found a few friends that I am getting to know there. So whether its pottery, knitting, music, painting. I would find a class around your area that your interested in, and who knows maybe you can find a few friends out of it that share your interest. I don't have many friends anymore so when I got out of my relationship I came out the other side and found out all of my friends have moved on with their lifes. (married, moved away, etc) So you have to be proactive no matter how much you dont want to be, it might take some time but get out there and do something you want to do and are interested in, it will get better!
I wish you luck in your relationship!