You know, I approached the subject with T last week about being done. I was feeling strong and clear-minded. I didn't feel needy anymore and I wasn't sure what the point would be of continuing. I try to be honest with myself about why I'm doing stuff (although, I'm finding that when you don't know yourself well, it's tougher to really be honest).

I'm sure she was shocked and very surprised about me bringing up the topic. It was only 'yesterday' that I was spilling my guts about how dependent I was on her.

So, we calmly discussed the possible termination (I hate that word too) and if there was anything else to grapple with. She pulled out my file and I re-read the list of goals I had when I first started therapy in December. For some weird reason I wasn't even feeling sad at all.

She even warned me she'd be on vacation in November and where normally I would react intensely to that fact, this time I had no reaction and told her it was fine. I was feeling quite detached actually.

She was great. She didn't try to talk me into staying but she gently pointed out other areas that may need work even though I had possibly gotten 'beyond the junk'. And I agreed that, indeed, there still was a lot of work ahead of me and that some of my more 'minor' issues hadn't been resolved.
So, we both decided that it was best to continue.

I said I didn't know what to bring to session then and she replied that maybe she could take the lead finally. I smiled because it will be fun to see what she has up her sleeve. She thought I always wanted to be in charge and that it would be tough for me to let go, but actually it will be nice to try it another way.

But, then the next day I sunk. I actually left her a message and told her she was right - that I did have more work to do.

So, yes, it's nice to see that maybe we've moved beyond the junk, but I suspect many of us will have challenges in many other forms in the future and it's really really nice to have a T to talk to about other stuff.