Sannah, my T and I have been working on the unmet needs of the infant by her encouraging me to "hold her" and tell her I'm there for her. It's not easy to do.

She believes EMDR can help with places I'm stuck, but I can't remember my infancy, so I'm not sure how it will work.

As far as knowing WHY I feel that way, we don't know. It could be because I was a preemie and was in an incubator. I don't think I'll ever know for sure WHY the infant has those needs.

When we do IFS I can visualize a child crying, but not a baby. When I hold my T's hand, I feel safe. When she pulls it away slowly and I still feel it, she is teaching me to internalize the caring. My T is very good at encouraging me to love the immature parts of me. Maybe it would help if those parts would cry, but I can't cry in therapy; I can just visualize a child crying. I don't know what else my T can do. I'll ask her.

I think that wanting to look on FB, google, and email my T are all attempts to get those needs met. The "baby" wants to connect with "Mommy" all the time and is devastated when she can't. Does that sound accurate?