Thank you gma and like

We had a discussion. I told him all the things I wrote in my post. In addition we are growing into different directions and our marriage is on the road to divorce.

His response:
He's again sorry for the way he acted the other night (how he talked to me). He said that I mentioned before that I wanted him to help out by maybe cooking once a week or perhaps we could cook one meal together (he's now willing to participate - before he would give me the excuse that I'm a stay at home mom so I should be doing all the cooking etc... - i of course told him he would have to eat whether he was married to me or not ). He understands that we need to do something together and he would like to come up with some suggestions.

About therapy:
He will not go to a therapist as he doesn't see the reason to. He thinks that we can just communicate and we don't need another person in the picture to discuss things. I asked him if what he's telling me is I need to then see an attorney? I am not happy and it's the big picture not what happend a week ago.

He gave me all the reasons why we have a good relationship and the things he's going to do so we don't need to talk to a therapist: he helps around the house, with the kids etc... he's been supportive of me being in therapy and exercise. He also said that he understood when I went to therapy for myself and improved myself that I may not want to be with him anymore. He told me he's the same person but I have changed not only physically but mentally in a good way (I'm not obese for the first time in my life, ran a half marathon recently and I'm going back to school in January for a new career that involves helping others).

In short after he told me he wouldn't go to therapy: I told him we will give it a month and revist this topic to see how we both feel.

In my mind: If things don't improve then that's it. I will not take his 'changing' as a way to put the stop on therapy if things really don't change. He needs to do some serious work or I'M DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Being divorced would suck as we have young children but I feel like I'm a strong person now and I can not only survive but thrive. Finances would be tough but I would be happy. I of course do not want to go down the road of divorce but if things don't change then I have no other choice. I will not go on living with a 'roommate' for a husband.

Thanks for listening!