Quote:
Originally Posted by needyoumorethanme25
One of the things I have no identity I have no clue who I am. It started with my mother lying about my ethnicity because I am part black and she was ashamed. And many other factors. One of the most disturbing things I have learned that I do is mirroring. I change drastically rapid personality changes so other will love me. And masking who I really am. To that point I have lost my identity completely. I have forgotten what little part of me was even real. I need help, and I don't even know where to begin.
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I'm not sure if this will help you reveal yourself....but if you keep hiding your true self, how will the people who would love that person find you? I know that it is easy to say though and very hard to do. I remember always having to remind myself to be myself and finding it so hard to do. Maybe if you just hold on to this mantra " this is who I am. I know I cannot click with everyone, no on can, but I will be nice to you so I hope that you will be nice to me. I will honor myself, and honor you, but being myself, it's what I deserve, and it is what you deserve".
and, most importantly, if you can, have a gentle heart to heart with your mother about what you think is her shame over your race. the hurt you must have felt. Racial attitudes have changed over the years and maybe some things can get cleared up and healed. Your other troubles with your ex should fall into perspective if you heal the source of your hurt. Wishing you well--Terry