I made the decision to pretty much cut myself off from my extended family. I simply couldn't handle the constant drama any more. I maintain contact with one aunt and we only talk every couple of months. I can count on my parents to keep me in the loop on important things.

If I could drastically reduce contact with my parents, I would. Unfortunately, I can't, so my issues with them still creep in to therapy quite often. My younger brother took his life over 10 years ago, and my parents completely freak out if the don't hear from me every 48 hours or so. It's draining, it's frustrating, but I'm just not sure I have the courage to change it. Recently, though, I've experienced a kind of shift in my thinking, and it's helped me to move forward in therapy and not dwell so much on family issues. I was talking to my T about something, and I said "but that's my Mom's issue." I stopped when I heard what I'd said, and then I repeated it..."that is my Mom's issue, not mine." I realized that while, yes, her issues do affect me, I do not have to become embroiled in them. I can step back, say "that's her issue" and recognize when it's starting to spill over in to my life. At that point, I have to decide if it's worth making it my issue or gaining some distance and putting those issues off to the side so I can focus on my own things. This has been a new practice for me, so it's still "in work," but I've found that being able to separate my issues from those of my family, and only taking on what is really mine has helped me to move forward in my therapy.