Thanks skysblue, ECHOES, and PTSDlovemycats. I appreciate your warm welcomes and your responses.

Truthfully, my therapist called me on the phone just before the weekend started, and I haven't called her back yet... I keep listening to her message though and thinking about it. Or, not really thinking about it--I don't really have anything to think about, I just kind of play it over in my head.

She called to ask how I'm doing and I realize I feel a little frozen because I don't know how to answer. If I call back and leave a message saying I'm fine, then I may not hear from her ever again, and then what if I am just pushing someone away when I could be asking for help? But then, maybe I don't need help. I'm not doing perfectly, but am I doing poorly? I don't know, I don't even know what that would mean. I just don't know how to answer.

Is it weird that I think I can't stand her and I resent her and probably hate her a bit, but yet I still half-dread half-hope that she'll call me, and I still keep listening to her message, and I'm still too frozen up to call back? I'm so weird...