That's good new Chris. My marriage is in the midst of either going down the path of divorce or happiness. My husband doesn't want to go to therapy (even though he should to understand how his anxiety is effecting our marriage etc.. in combo with the way he communicates or should it be the lack of communication). I ultimatly don't want a divorce and I feel like I'm giving a last effort. I communicated things to him today and I'm hoping things really do change. If not it's then going to be him going to therapy not to help with our marriage but for him to get help in dealing with getting a divorce .

I have changed so much in the last 3 1/2 years (much of my therapy was about how my behaviour plays into relationships and what I'm responsible for). My husband told me today that he was afraid that the fact I went to therapy and with the changes I've been making for the better there was a possibilty that I would change so much that I wouldn't be interested in him anymore. And to tell it like it is if things don't change on his end of things then I am not interested. We are like two seperate people living in the same house. I've told him what I need before and he always said no or came up with an excuse as to why he can't help me with my needs. However after telling him today is it a therapist we need or an attorney.....He said today that he is willing to work at our marriage and wants to make some changes on his part (he came up with ideas etc..). Will see. Keep your fingers crossed for me as a divorce is the last thing I want but even more I don't want to be in a relationship that is going nowhere and I'm unhappy (btw I'm happy as an individual but not in my marriage). I also have a couple of young children and I wouldn't want them to have to deal with that emotional burden of a divorce (but equally I want to model a healthy relationship for them).

In short therapy has helped me to be a stronger person I just wish I had gone years ago and then maybe I wouldn't be in this unhappy mess to begin with!!

For those of you who are in therapy and reading this and aren't in a 'relationship/partnership' with someone be thankful that all your energy is solely on you. The second you become attached to someone it can get complicated. Work on yourself first if you can before you get into a serious relationship (just my 2cents worth).

Thanks everyone for listening