I am an introverted quiet person.. i prefer ISTP.. it describes me well. I have been with this female for 2 months. fell in love with her, yes.. I met her parents after a couple of weeks.. I say hi to them almost every time i went to her house. Sometimes I'm forced to say hi.. ok only once i was.. or a couple of times..

I have struggled with this all my life. I dont know how to start conversations. No matter how bad i want to, i just dont know how to. I have let so many females pass me by because of that as well. My last stand was online dating.. I thought i found the perfect female for me.. but apparently i was wrong because she cannot understand how hard it is to start a conversation with people. she wants me to do that with her parents. her parents dont like me because of that. but they have never tried to start a conversation with me either.

my girl.. now my ex.. she thinks that i look down on people and i think im better than everyone because i wait for them to talk to me. that hurt me so much.. it makes me feel like crying that someone i love, who i thought would understand me after 2 months, would think this way about me.. that im better than anyone. i know im not.. but i had struggled with low self esteem for years.. its only 5 years now that i have built up a good confidence in myself to be happy with myself and accept myself.. and to have someone tear it down in one night.. it hurts me so much. then she says i dont love her because i cant change that quiet part of me that has problem communicating with others.. only with her, i was so open and outgoing.. i was a different person that nobody sees.. i let her see that side of me.. I CANNOT DO THAT WITH EVERYBODY. how is this so hard to understand? why is this cause for a breakup? why must she let her parents dictate her life? why am i not good enough for anybody? i can accept the fact that im not good for anyone. that i dont know how to greet parents or make everyone like me.. i just cant do it. i was born a quiet person. i have major communication issues.. why does this have to be so hard to understand?

then she texts me talking down on me.. talking about how i only go to work and come home.. wasting my life.. doing my shopping online instead of going to stores, interacting with people.. im too comfortable.. am i really living my life so wrong? i enjoy staying home, watching movies, playing games.. i have no friends. nobody likes me. what is there for me to do in the world? ofcourse, i would go places with her and have a good time. but all of that is gone because i cant talk to her parents. i know my life is pathetic. i'll stay single and wont bother anybody with the way i am. sorry i just needed to let this out. it had been bugging me all day. plus it felt good to let out a few tears while typing this.

i wish more people would try to understand us "quiet people" and not look down on us (because you think we are looking down on you). the hardest thing in this world for me to do is talk to complete strangers, next is start an interesting conversation, which i still have problems doing with my parents, especially my father.. he is a quiet person like me.

once again.. I accept the fact that this personality of mine will be the downfall of me and i will be alone forever. its a shame, because its my only flaw (not the typical guy that cheats, drinks, smokes, or does any recreational drug). i love with all my heart, but love cant make me change my personality.