What a candid post. I definitely enjoy it on an intellectual level, probably started with Morrissey. I was 16 when "how soon is now" was released and I still remember how it felt to be understood. I always felt drawn to Zelda Fitzgerald and Anne Sexton and Sylvia Plath etc etc etc. While it sucks to have gone through the **** I have as well as being from suicidal stock one of the gifts is being able to relate to addiction, depression, compulsion and obsession and being able to parse from those who "wear it well" to find solace.

I have found a lot of relief through literature for my symptoms and have through a long excruciating process have accepted that I tend toward melancholia, and the more I travel and turn inward and ignore the US obsession with "happiness" the less tortured I feel.

There is a great quote from collette: "who said you should be happy; do your work" of course the problem is when depression is so debilitating you can't work.

That said, I am now going to read veronika, which I had never heard of before.