my posts here are starting to get repetative...

I'm just still having so much trouble coping and it is getting harder and harder. I am starting to dislike going to support groups and it has been harder and harder to drag myself out to them.

I still can't get out of bed early and it is harder and harder to stay out of bed during the day (I've been giving in because it is just so difficult)

i'm even less motivated now to take care of things. my bills are still sliding, and even though i am worried about them i can not translate that worry into action over them. when i started on this depression i was at least able to do a little toward my bills as they became overdue. not i just don't want to deal with them at all.

i've been isolating myself again even though that has been the one area that i made by far the most progress over the past few months. i've become so disallutioned and unwilling on getting hurt again that i just can't keep making the effort. it does bother me that other people won't pick up some of the slack but that is not their problem, i should be able to initiate contact. i think there are only two people now that i trust and remain in contact with.

i have been talking about this with my T and it has been helping. i just feel as if things are getting worse faster than any improvement i'm making. i've been putting a HUGE amount of effort into this. i really have been trying to "do the work" to get past this. I'm getting really exhausted from all the effort it takes. I want some emotional rest.

that is all for now

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
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