I don't think you are overreacting either. I know lots of women say they don't feel threatened when their husband look at porn, that it's normal for a man to do this, and men will also say it is normal and it means nothing, but I don't really buy that. I mean if a man is single and looks at porn, so what, but if he is married and knows it hurts his wife to do it, then there is a lack of feeling there for his wife. I would be concerned about that lack of feeling.

Also of concern to me, in your case, is the fact that he takes photos of women and keeps them. It sounds to me like he uses women. That makes me wonder if he is using you.

I have some experience in this, as my husband is a big porn fan. When we were first married 11 years ago, I told him that it hurts my feelings, and he raised his voice and told me he will never, ever stop looking at women. When he raises his voice and you back down, he is controlling you and I bet he knows he is doing it, as mine does.

Mine also "goes into a trance" when a young girl walks by. I always ended up just looking at the back of his head when we used to go out; he would turn away from me to watch other women constantly. If he was in a position facing me, like at a dinner table, his eyes would always be over my shoulder looking at other women. His eyes actually glaze over when he does this.

Years later, he still looks at porn but hides it from me; I know he does it and I still feel hurt. I am much less attracted to him than I would have been otherwise, and I do not enjoy having sex with him. That's my reaction to his porn...it has hurt our sex life. Of course the fact that he drools over other women has hurt too.

Anyway, obviously I don't have an answer for you but wanted to tell you that you aren't alone in this and if you're like me, it won't get better for you but it is certainly your choice if you want to live with it or not.

I tend to think that marriage is not a guarantee that life will be perfect, and this is one part of my marriage that is less than perfect. That old song "I never promised you a rose garden" comes to mind.

Good luck to you.