I bring in my unedited (which I question the wisdom of) journal for my T about every other week. He always gives it back to me, and I take it home and shred it (have a copy on my computer, of course). He reads it outside of session, sometimes he starts a session with me by reflecting on what he's read, or if I say something that reminds him of what I've written in the journal, he'll say something about that. Once he said it would be useful to look at something I said in there, when I was ready. He has a really great memory for what I've written, sometimes referring back to something I wrote months ago.

Sometimes I give him a lot of stuff to read, I average about 5 ss pages per week, and last time I gave him 17 ss pages to read. I always ask him if he's read it, and he always says he read it twice, and then I tell him there will be a pop quiz later. Yes, I am that funny.

I notice lately that there's a lot more overlap between what I bring up in session and what I write about in my journal. There used to be things I would write about in my journal and then comment later that I was never going to bring them up again or that I was going to "lock them in the vault." Whatever I mean by that.

Journaling helps me get access to some of my feelings and write down some of my traumatic experiences that I can't yet express in a conscious way. It also serves as a record for some of my inner life (recording dreams, memories, fleeting thoughts or ideas). I appreciate that T is willing to read this stuff on his own time, and it seems from his feedback that he thinks it is useful for my therapy, or he's just humoring me because he thinks I might sue him.

Anne