i s.i.. i am not proud of it, but i do. my best friend knows i do, but for the moment believes i have stopped again. i told her id try to. i did. i did try, but i failed. i used to cut a few years ago, but stopped, but now i have started again. now is worse than before. used to id only barley break skin with a scratch, but now, its a slice that ends in a scar. some of them fade with tan, but the ones that upraise stay there. sometimes i catch myself admiring the scars, liking that they show imperfection. they show the imperfection in my life, while i otherwise try to please everyone else.